Temperature in Hell? 32-Degrees and Dropping

Satan is throwing snowballs this morning. I don't have proof, of course, but he must be given that Cristian Guzman hit for the cycle last night.

In 2005, Guzman batted .219 and was mercilessly booed by Nats fans. This year he's been the only consistent player for the team. I'm starting to think my opinion regarding his new contract with Washington needs to be revised. At a minimum, he's the least of the Nationals' problems.

Sorry for Slacking

Apologies to everyone for the limited posts this week. I have a work project that is really grinding me pretty good and haven't had much time to post lately.


Here are the News-Press articles for this week. I'd like to dedicate Splinters this week to every misunderstood fantasy sports player. Significant others don't see why we bother spending our time with fantasy teams when we could be spending it having "quality time" with them engaging in something called "communication." Look ladies, Plaxico Burress needs a little quality time too. Even if that quality time simply consists of moving him to the bench during his bye week.



In an attempt to bridge this misunderstanding, I take a stab at why people enjoy fantasy football so much.



At the time I landed the interview, I didn't know that Jesse McCartney was such a big deal. I only thought that he was a former soap opera actor who also happened to sing that song they always played in movie theaters before the previews came on. Instead he's a tween heart throb with a No. 1 single in "Leavin'." I mean just look at the cute little kid. You can understand why 12 year old girls spend "quality time" with his posters each night.



But relying on the unconditional crushes of teenagers isn't enough these days. Check out how he's attempted to grow his popularity using some innovative techniques.

Banned for Being "Too Good"

Just wanted to bring this outrageous story to everyone's attention today with the hope of posting more after I get a bit of work done.

Cautionary note to all New Haven youth baseball players, don't play too well, or they'll kick you out of the league. Not only is this disgusting that a league would do this, but it should be written into the constitution so that moves like this are illegal.

You never used to be able to ban kids who are so bad they can't get out of their own way on a baseball field (I know because I played with a bunch of them). So how can you ban kids for being too talented? I don't know what sort of hippie communists are running this league, but this is a terrible answer to something that isn't even a problem.