The Magnificent 7, Karolyi Goes Crazy and More

Michael Phelps ... how? I've seen the replay. I've seen the replay in slow motion. I've seen the replay in super duper 21st century high definition slow motion. I have no idea how Michael Phelps managed to touch that wall before Milorad Cavic in the 100m butterfly.

One, one-hundredth of a second. That's the smallest increment of time kept by the Olympics. Unreal.

The reaction by Phelps' mother was priceless. It could only be matched by gymnastics "analyst" Bela Karolyi on Thursday night.

Anyone who happened to be watching the Olympics last night during the women's all-around competition was treated to crazy Karolyi having a "Belagasm" during Nastia Liukin's floor exercise.

I was hoping to track down the video to share, but all I could find with this hysterical spoof. The real version has Liukin performing in the background and not, well, you'll see. Enjoy.

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The Yankees are pretty much dead as far as the postseason goes. They're going to have to hope the Red Sox collapse down the stretch in order to sniff the Wild Card. Injuries have taken their toll and their lineup is stagnant. That's a pretty bad combination when you're in a pennant race. So, next question. Should the Yankees try to trade Jason Giambi or Mike Mussina? Their salaries are huge and they may clear waivers and they could fetch some prospects for an inevitable rebuild. Far fetched? Absolutely. But would it be smart? Hmm ...

Why No Phelps Flap? And Raging Against the Democrats?

Before I continue, this week's FCNP Splinters takes a look at the Olympic experience thus far and why I'm glad the focus has been on the athletes and not the politics of the Games.

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A co-worker today raised this question: Why is no one accusing Michael Phelps of doping?

Yeah, it's a question that stirs the pot, but isn't it legitimate? This guy is crushing the competition and setting world records like they were nothing. We've raised an eyebrow at everyone who's had even the slightest bit of success lately, but Phelps has been untouchable. Why?

Is it because he's tested regularly for drugs at the Olympics? (There's still no reliable test for HGH.) Is it because he's American? (If he was from China, you know people would jump on this ... just look at the skepticism surrounding what was most likely a misprinted age for gymnast He Kexin.

I personally don't think Phelps is doping. He'd have to be either pretty bold or pretty dumb to try. He probably has to slug down a gallon of water just to keep up with the little plastic cups they're passing his way. Plus, Phelps has improved incrementally since 2004. It hasn't been a spike like Floyd Landis or Barry Bonds or Marion Jones. This falls well inside the realm of credibility. Still, the sad reality is that we should probably be skeptical of any landmark athletic achievement until there is comprehensive drug testing that includes HGH. Sad, but true.

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Great column from ESPN's Jayson Stark on Manny Ramirez today. I totally agree.

I'm working on a longer piece about the former Red Sox slugger and hope to have it up this weekend. Keep your eyes peeled.

On the music front ...

Political rock fans, rejoice! Rage Against the Machine will perform in Denver, coinciding with the Democratic National Convention. Here's a snippet from the press release:

"Rage Against the Machine has joined forces with the Iraq Veterans Against the War and Tent State University to perform as part of the "Tent State Music Festival to End the War" on Wednesday, August 27 at the Denver Coliseum. They will join the Flobots, The Coup, State Radio, and Wayne Kramer. Doors open at 9:30 AM, show begins at 11:00 AM."

I'm not one to turn up my nose at a chance to see this band, but wouldn't it make more sense if they were playing outside the REPUBLICAN National Convention? Isn't that what the Democrats are trying to do already?

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"Press Pass" this week checks in with some of my favorites (Joe Purdy, Husky Rescue, No Second Troy) from interview past to find out Where Are They Now?

The Fantastic Phelps and a Few Music Notes

Five gold medals in 2008. Five world records at the Beijing Games. It's becoming more and more evident that the only thing Michael Phelps has to fear in the water is Jaws ... if the great white could catch him that is.

Now that he has 11 gold medals over two Olympics (and you know he'll be back for the London Games in four years) it's pretty evident that Phelps is the best athlete ever. Is there any debate? Of course there is.

One candidate: Jackie Robinson. Not only did he break baseball's color barrier, he was also a varsity athlete for UCLA's football, basketball, baseball and track teams.

Some disturbing news from the Big East, as UConn men's coach Jim Calhoun is battling health issues. He's not getting any younger and the recruiting game is a brutal one. It's only my opinion, but this could be Calhoun's last season. After this year, when the Huskies are primed for a return to the Final Four, they'll likely lose Hasheem Thabeet and A.J. Price to the NBA Draft and Jeff Adrien's eligibility expires. The Huskies have a good freshmen class coming in with Kemba Walker and Scottie Haralson, but will they have the pieces to make a serious run in 2009-10?

I think there's a real possibility Calhoun calls it a career after this spring.

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On the music front, I chatted with Peter Bradley Adams yesterday about his new release, Leavetaking. If you've got a sec, pop over to his home page and check out the new tunes.

Also, D.C. area music enthusiasts, if you want to catch a band on the rise, visit the MySpace page for No Second Troy and pickup tickets to their Aug. 22 gig at 9:30 Club. Not only will you get to see one of the most polished bands in the District perform live, you'll also get to download their new single, "Masquerade" for free. And do yourself a favor and listen to "The Gardens After Lockout" while you're there.

Excess Baggage

After doing my duty in my friends' wedding and baking in San Antonio's summer sun, I'm back. No thanks to American Airlines.

Long gripe short, my connecting flight back Monday morning from St. Louis was canceled due to weather in New York. I can handle that. Bad weather happens. And I was fortunate enough to be able to stay with my girlfriends' parents who live outside the city. All I needed was my bag back. Apparently that's a problem.

Despite the flight being canceled, I had to revisit the ticket counter to make a special request to get my bag back. After doing that and waiting 40 minutes for it at the bag claim, I visited the American Airlines baggage office.

Mike: Yeah, I need my bag back. Is it coming?

Attendant: Well ... [walkie talkie beeps, then explodes with Charlie-Brown Teacher chatter. The attendant, completely panicked translates] OKAY, EVERYONE NEEDS TO EVACUATE THIS FLOOR RIGHT NOW. THE POLICE WILL EXPLAIN WHEN THEY GET HERE, BUT YOU NEED TO MOVE NOW!

15 minutes later after heroically running to retrieve my girlfriend from certain death and safely exit the building ... only to be told within seconds of our exit that it's a false alarm and some moron leaned against the wrong button ...

Mike: Yeah, I need my bag back. Is it coming?

New, calmer, but much more incompetent attendant: It could be 20 minutes, it could be four hours.

Mike: Um, can you narrow that down for me?

Same, calmer, attendant who is now uneager to accept any shred of responsibility for my missing bag: Not really.

Mike: Aren't you guys the baggage department? Isn't finding people's lost luggage what you do?

Same, calmer, but now somewhat confused attendant: Yes.

Mike: So why can't you go find my bag?

Same, calmer, but completely boggled attendant: Well, because we don't have access to the baggage room. If you want to wait by the baggage belt, your bag should come out.

Mike, far from calm and quietly calculating the legal consequences of throttling an airline employee relative to the Darwinian justice of ridding the earth of an inept employee sapping this planet's valuable resources, such as water, oxygen and my time: So, just to sum up. You represent the airline's baggage department. Your sole responsibility is to monitor people's luggage and not only are you unable to tell me where my bag is, but you're entirely unable to even TRY to find it.

Same, calmer attendant slowly realizing she's the butt of a joke: So, sir, what exactly do you suggest I do?

Mike's mind: See if the DMV is hiring.

Mike's body: I wish this boarding pass I am currently tearing in half with my hands was your soul.

Mike's mind again: Nothing. Do nothing. You seem to do it so well, why stop now?

Mike's actual response: I think I'll go find someone else to speak to by the baggage claim.

After another 30 minutes of no one knowing where my bag is, one attendant tells me I should just leave it and let it get put onto the flight tomorrow morning or even sent on later that evening. Never mind that it has all of my clothes. Or all of my toiletries. Or could have contained large quantities of substances frowned upon by the TSA but embraced by fundamentalist militants. I should just forget about it, potentially let it fly on a plane without me, and go about my day.

Riiiight ...

Scary realization No. 1: These are the people keeping our planes "safe" from terrorists.

Scary realization No. 2: The attendent's vote in the presidential election counts just as much as mine does.

Did I mention that American Airlines is now charging for checked baggage?

In five weeks I guarantee all you will find in airplane cargo holds are leather leggings, whips, spiked collars and other implements only a masochist could love.

Which very much reminds me of watching the Nationals.

Okay, rant over. More actual content later.