Homeland Security Threat Level: (Mustard) Yellow

Lives were saved and tragedy was averted in Philadelphia when law enforcement agents and the bomb squad safely detonated a trio of suspicious objects outside the Phillies' ballpark Wednesday night. Of course, it still was a tragedy for connoisseurs of delectable processed meat.

The three objects turned out to be duct-taped hot dogs left outside by the team's mascot, the Philly Phanatic, after filming a promotion in which he fired the dogs out of an air gun. While the crisis was averted, the Phanatic's addition to the terrorist watch list may make his airport "freedom search" a little more painful than usual.