Wait, You Lied? I Love You!

Because a promise is a promise, here are some thoughts on the "Gossip Girl" premiere. If this isn't a sign that I'm desperate for college football, the NFL and the fall TV season I don't know what is.


I know asking for complex characters from a show like "Gossip Girl" is like asking Joey from "Friends" to develop an emotional brooding side, but it still kills me when shows reverse course at the drop of a hat ... or in this case maybe an ascot.


When we left off, Serena and Dan spent the summer in Splitsville while the viewership spent the offseason realizing the break was all wrong. Well, less than an hour of television later and it seems they're back together. So much for the suspense. Adios Playboy Dan and Sulking Serena we hardly knew ye.


Speaking of relationships, the bitchy-but-beautiful Blair is now with the newly introduced Baron of Boredom, who she was completely using to get back at true-love Chuck and placed no value on anything they'd shared together. Ah, but the Baron is so much more. He had cunningly adopted the disguise of a Georgetown student to make sure women would respect him for his personality and not his royal title. So, naturally, after learning Blair had no interest in his personality whatsoever, he drops his game, spills the beans and ... stays with a vengeful, selfish girl who is interested in him solely for his royal title.


For the record, I was onto his game from the start. There are no "eating" clubs at Georgetown. The only thing the Hoyas devour are undersized post-players.


Long story short, I'm not asking for an Emmy-winning script, but they can still do better than tossing aside everything that happened in the season finale and introducing new characters that behave completely contrary to common sense.

Okay, that's enough. Tomorrow maybe I'll attempt to regain my masculinity by talking about the "Prison Break" premiere and the proper etiquette to use when shanking a snitch.